by Katherine

This year, Father’s Day had a whole new meaning for me.  I have always delighted in celebrating my father and the unique bond that we share.  We’ve been through a lot together, as most fathers and daughters have, I would imagine, and he is still one of the most cherished people in my life.  Lately, over the last few years, as I’ve truly started to appreciate his participation in my life and as I’ve matured into the thinking of a more mature woman, I have worried about him.  As a nutrition instructor, I can’t help but notice how he eats and his physical shape.  For the last few years, I’ve been hounding him about what he eats and also hounding my mother for what she feeds him… as if she can actually control one of the most stubborn men on the planet.

This year was different because I am pregnant and I also celebrated my husband as the father he will be.  While visiting my parents on that day, I had the unique opportunity to see the contrast between mine and Scott’s relationship and that of my mother and father.  Also, my perspective of what I can influence is totally different with my own husband.  I don’t mean to liken him to a possession of mine, but I do mean to imply that I have more responsibility to protect him and the family we’re creating.  Like my father, I’d like him to be around when he’s 90.  But even more so –I’d like him to be an active part of our grandchildren’s lives and hopefully, our great-grandchildren.  And choices to be alive and thriving for that long are not made once a year, but every day at mealtime.  Its almost like a recovering alcoholic; you have to make the choice every day that that is important to you.  And thankfully, Scott does.  I am thankful that he eats plant-based like me.  And I’m even more thankful that he will be a great example for our son and that he can see his choices every day.  That is love.

So, as our Father’s day dinner approached (I was in charge of cooking), I grew anxious.  I love my father enough that I’d like him to live another 20 or 30 years.  Therefore, I planned only to prepare him low-fat, cholesterol free, plant-based foods.  My menu of Beefless Tips N Rice, Roasted Cauliflower, Mac N Cheezze and Crispy Apple Phyllo  would make Paula Deen consider going vegan, by the way.  And my dad loved it!  However, I was razzed still by others for not making him traditional Father’s Day favorites like BBQ, steak and hot dogs.  Ironically, it is those very foods that contribute to the leading killers of our men:  heart disease, diabetes and cancer.  Why is our culture so incredibly contradictory?  Why do we designate “man” foods and imply you are less of one if you don’t eat them?  Lets celebrate the men we love by giving them cholesterol & carcinogen-laden meals that will eventually kill them!  Now, that is how LOVE is defined in modern America…

I agree that food is a very personal choice, but only up to a point.  And that is the point where it affects others in our lives and the limited time that we have on this Earth to spend together.  To that extent, our personal choices affect our children and our extended family.

I met a two-time cancer survivor who said she finally decided one day that she “loved her kids more than she loved bacon.”  She has been cancer-free ever since.  That sounds pretty black and white to me.  I see most food choices in the same way when it comes to our responsibilities to our families.  Who do we love more? Let’s redefine how we show love to each other.