A Tale of Tofurky...

Coming up on our 5th Thanksgiving as vegans, my husband said “I want more substance to my meal this year, I think it’s time to try it…”  I knew exactly what “it” was - he was referring to the much-ridiculed vegetarian roast, aka Tofurky.  I was scared.  For the last four holidays, we’d convinced ourselves it would be better just to not have a main “meat” dish than to eat that peculiar looking thing.  I had peacefully ignored it, as I reached for other frozen items at the grocery store.  I had even secretly mocked it to my non-vegan friends.  But, deep down, I was curious too - and frankly, missed having turkey like everyone else around the Thanksgiving table.  I figured, if I’m going to serve this to my Chicago family, I better practice.

So, I picked one up.  Water, wheat gluten, organic tofu, onion powder, celery, brown rice… wow, nothing weird!  Plus none of those crazy chemicals that I can’t pronounce that tend to show up in pre-made foods.  Then, I heard from the little voice inside my head, still dead-set on steering me away from this most-maligned of holiday feasts.  “You know this won’t work, right?  Everyone already thinks your food is strange.  You’ll never be able to win them over after they have the memory of this etched in their minds.  Look!  It’s even written on the box!”  And, as my eyes scanned the package, there it was “Made from 100% recycled paperboard”...uh-oh, that’s probably what it will taste like, I thought.

Time to bite the bullet (don’t forget to defrost your tofurky in the fridge for 24 hours!).  I followed the box directions of adding the tofurky to a deep casserole dish, then adding a medley of fresh carrots, onions and potatoes.  Looking good so far.  Next step: basting.  Convinced I knew better than the box, I mixed 1/4 c. Apple Juice, 1/4 c. Soy Sauce, 2 T. agave Nectar and a dash of Thyme as my baste.  Following the box directions requires about an hour and a half  of baking and basting.  Finally, it was time to try it.  Naturally, I gave Scott the honors and secretly reminded myself of the genius whose idea it was to make gravy.  Gravy can save anything…

I watched him slowly chew, then his eyes widened, the corners of his lips turned upwards and he lept to his feet.  With a quiver of his voice and the premature glistening of a tear in his eye, he  said “you just gave me Thanksgiving back”…

And so it was that for the next three days and three nights that this silly man feasted on the Thanksgiving leftovers from his childhood: Tofurky sandwich, Tofurky stew, Tofurky hash, Tofurky-a-la-king!  The only thing better for me than the smile on his face was that this “turkey-stuffed” man was not laid out on the couch in a Tryptophan coma... so I also got a well fed dishwasher for the evening.  All was right with the world.  Here’s hoping you have a great Thanksgiving!

Gut Check Quiz:

1. The average Thanksgiving meal has how many calories?

2. And, how many grams of fat?

3. How many permanent pounds does the average American gain over Thanksgiving that he will never lose?

4. How many calories does the average American eat over the whole Thanksgiving Day?

Answers:  1)  3500-4000 calories 2)  229 g. of fat  3)1 lb. of permanent fat  4) 10,000 calories

Tips to Keep Your Gut in Check :

• Eliminating animal products will remove cholesterol and lower fat intake
• Saute dry or in broth, rather than oil, to keep fat and calories low
• Increasing vegetable intake will provide fiber and a sense of “fullness” from fewer calories
• Skipping the real turkey will eliminate heterocyclic amines (a carcinogen known to cause cancer)